Well folks, it's been fun thinking about doing an Ironman. Unfortunately, reality has reared its ugly head, and it is not financially feasible. I knew it was going to be tight, but I thought that if my only races next year were the Rev3 half and Germany, that I could swing it. And since I (hopefully) will be getting a new job in the next few months (because my current one ends in April), it seemed like the perfect time to take the plunge, as I could negotiate those days off into a contract.
However, I am not making ends meet. A lot of it is my own doing, either by trying to keep up with friends, all of whom make significantly more money than I do, or by feeling like I don't have any friends, and buying things to make myself feel better. Either way, the reality is a whopping credit card bill. The reality is that I've been existing in the red since I moved to Boston. The reality is that triathlon is an expensive sport; I wasn't trying to buy a P3 (or whatever the latest model is), I just wanted to participate on my 10 year old used bike and have a good time with friends. But the reality is, while I love triathlon, I can't afford it. I think I might have to give up my gym membership, and/or sell my bikes. It feels like when I went to college, and sold my cello, and closed the 'musician' chapter of my life.
So, that's that. Thanks for following along, I appreciate the encouragement and the belief that I could get it done. I am so disappointed I can't fully express how upset I am right now. It's just ironic that after all the debate about being fast enough, or thin enough, or good enough, and should I quit triathlon, I finally committed to doing Germany, and doing my best, just to have the rug pulled out from under me. I could have saved myself a lot of agony and tears!
Next blog: my road to financial solvency. LOL
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
The good, the better, and the best!
Honestly, I'm not sure which is which, but this past weekend was great, and just what I needed heading into the off-season.
On Saturday morning I attended a cyclocross clinic at Wheelworks (sorry Landry's). I was riding my bike there, hoping to not get lost (as I am prone to do!), when Noah drove by on his way to the shop. So yay, no getting lost, and I got a ride for half the trip. During the clinic, I had total bike envy. I wasn't sure which bike to bring: my road bike is lighter, but I'd have to change out the pedals for flat ones at the store, vs my mountain bike, which is super heavy and has slick tires, since I commute with it, but has the proper spd pedals. I asked BQ, and he said to go with the mountain bike. But almost everyone there had cross bikes, even Noah, since he borrowed Jorge's (who may never get it back, lol). I just keep telling myself, I cannot afford another bike, I cannot afford another bike!
Anyway, tons of fun, but I need a lot of practice! They had to lower my saddle so that I could remount, because I couldn't touch the ground. And I couldn't do the hops because I couldn't lift up the bike. But I have the bruises and a sore back from carrying the bike to show I put in a hard, fun couple of hours. Definitely want to try racing sometime in the future! Boo that I'm supposed to be 'resting' during October :(
Then Saturday night I had dinner with my cousin, who was in town for the day. I haven't seen her in probably about a year, even though she lives maybe 2 hours away. But it was good to catch up, find out all the latest family gossip from her branch (there are 7 of them, and then countless children, so they always have a lot more gossip than from me & my brother!). After dinner, I was supposed to stop at my lab, but I had forgotten my ID card (doh!) so I just biked home. I had barely done anything that week since I was so tired and sore, so the 32 bike miles + cyclocross clinic that I had done that day had wiped me out. I thought about bailing on the sprint triathlon I had the next day so that I could sleep in instead of getting up at 4am, but decided not to, so off to bed I went.
I did not sleep well - very weird dreams involving a goose, my mother, a highway rest stop, and the race. I'll leave the rest to your imagination...
When 4AM rolled around, I kinda wanted to cry. But I got up, and was barely ready when Keith & Michelle pulled up. I'm not normally a coffee drinker, so usually when I'm up, I'm up, and can be annoyingly chipper first thing in the morning. But not that day. I was dragging, and barely staying conscious in the back seat. Keith was nice enough to find me a Dunkin (since they're on every street corner), and I got one of the worst cups of coffee ever. But it was enough to wake me up a bit. We also picked up a Wheelworks guy, who had taken a wrong turn and couldn't find the park. Since he wasn't in any of our age groups, we decided to show him the way ;-)
After going for a 2 min spin on my bike to check the gear, and a 2 min run to see if I thought my calf would hold out (I was debating wearing my compression socks on the run), I foam-rolled for 5 min to try to loosen my glute, hamstring, and back that were killing me. Good thing my main goal for the race was to string a solid day together, or else I would have been freaking out about how much I hurt!
The warm-up in the water was hilarious. For some reason Keith, Michelle and I decided to warm up at the swim start, while everyone else was at the swim finish. We soon figured out why - TONS of rocks! It probably took us five minutes just to walk in the water. But we made it, splashed around a bit, then got laughed at by everyone watching us try to get out. I fell a couple of times!
But when it came time to get in again, no one else seemed to have any trouble! Michelle and I pulled up the rear of the wave as we picked our way across the rocks. Either I'm a major wimp, or everyone else's adrenaline was running very high. This was only my second ocean swim in a triathlon (the first was the previous weekend at Lobsterman), so I never felt very comfortable with the waves, but I made it, and was pretty happy to be done swimming for awhile. All I kept thinking was 'just get me to my bike' where I knew I could pass some of the strong swimmers. Sure enough, halfway through the bike, I passed the girl from my age group who came out first from the water. I almost said to her 'don't worry, you'll pass me back on the run', but I'm glad I didn't, because she never did!
I was amazed at how good I felt on the run. I hadn't seen many women on the bike, but I didn't know how close behind me any were. I just tried to hold on. One girl from my age group passed me at mile 2. Grrr, I had a 2.5 minute lead on her, and blew it in the run. But I was running as hard as I could - I'm not a runner - so I had to be content with that. I hadn't had a run in a triathlon this season faster than ~10 min/mi. Granted, I'd been doing longer races, but that was still slow, even for me. So that I finished Buzzard's Bay with an 8:25 pace was awesome!
I'd only done 2 sprint races before, last May and June, my 1st and 2nd races ever. So I was definitely hoping to have a PR, even though the bike and run were longer, and the swim was intermediate. I crossed the finish line with a 5+ minute PR!!! I felt so good. I had accomplished all my goals for that day: have a good attitude (I tend to get down on myself in the middle of races), pace myself to have enough left on the run, and feel strong throughout. The icing on the cake was a 3rd in AG finish.
Even better was Max Performance gives good prizes - a pint glass and a pair of lock laces. To top it off, Keith got first in his AG, and Michelle got 3rd overall!!
I know Michelle also had a PR, so it was a good day. Plus, I got to meet a couple of other teammates I hadn't met before, and visit with Chrissie and Elaine, which is always a pleasure.
On Saturday morning I attended a cyclocross clinic at Wheelworks (sorry Landry's). I was riding my bike there, hoping to not get lost (as I am prone to do!), when Noah drove by on his way to the shop. So yay, no getting lost, and I got a ride for half the trip. During the clinic, I had total bike envy. I wasn't sure which bike to bring: my road bike is lighter, but I'd have to change out the pedals for flat ones at the store, vs my mountain bike, which is super heavy and has slick tires, since I commute with it, but has the proper spd pedals. I asked BQ, and he said to go with the mountain bike. But almost everyone there had cross bikes, even Noah, since he borrowed Jorge's (who may never get it back, lol). I just keep telling myself, I cannot afford another bike, I cannot afford another bike!
Anyway, tons of fun, but I need a lot of practice! They had to lower my saddle so that I could remount, because I couldn't touch the ground. And I couldn't do the hops because I couldn't lift up the bike. But I have the bruises and a sore back from carrying the bike to show I put in a hard, fun couple of hours. Definitely want to try racing sometime in the future! Boo that I'm supposed to be 'resting' during October :(
Then Saturday night I had dinner with my cousin, who was in town for the day. I haven't seen her in probably about a year, even though she lives maybe 2 hours away. But it was good to catch up, find out all the latest family gossip from her branch (there are 7 of them, and then countless children, so they always have a lot more gossip than from me & my brother!). After dinner, I was supposed to stop at my lab, but I had forgotten my ID card (doh!) so I just biked home. I had barely done anything that week since I was so tired and sore, so the 32 bike miles + cyclocross clinic that I had done that day had wiped me out. I thought about bailing on the sprint triathlon I had the next day so that I could sleep in instead of getting up at 4am, but decided not to, so off to bed I went.
I did not sleep well - very weird dreams involving a goose, my mother, a highway rest stop, and the race. I'll leave the rest to your imagination...
When 4AM rolled around, I kinda wanted to cry. But I got up, and was barely ready when Keith & Michelle pulled up. I'm not normally a coffee drinker, so usually when I'm up, I'm up, and can be annoyingly chipper first thing in the morning. But not that day. I was dragging, and barely staying conscious in the back seat. Keith was nice enough to find me a Dunkin (since they're on every street corner), and I got one of the worst cups of coffee ever. But it was enough to wake me up a bit. We also picked up a Wheelworks guy, who had taken a wrong turn and couldn't find the park. Since he wasn't in any of our age groups, we decided to show him the way ;-)
After going for a 2 min spin on my bike to check the gear, and a 2 min run to see if I thought my calf would hold out (I was debating wearing my compression socks on the run), I foam-rolled for 5 min to try to loosen my glute, hamstring, and back that were killing me. Good thing my main goal for the race was to string a solid day together, or else I would have been freaking out about how much I hurt!
The warm-up in the water was hilarious. For some reason Keith, Michelle and I decided to warm up at the swim start, while everyone else was at the swim finish. We soon figured out why - TONS of rocks! It probably took us five minutes just to walk in the water. But we made it, splashed around a bit, then got laughed at by everyone watching us try to get out. I fell a couple of times!
But when it came time to get in again, no one else seemed to have any trouble! Michelle and I pulled up the rear of the wave as we picked our way across the rocks. Either I'm a major wimp, or everyone else's adrenaline was running very high. This was only my second ocean swim in a triathlon (the first was the previous weekend at Lobsterman), so I never felt very comfortable with the waves, but I made it, and was pretty happy to be done swimming for awhile. All I kept thinking was 'just get me to my bike' where I knew I could pass some of the strong swimmers. Sure enough, halfway through the bike, I passed the girl from my age group who came out first from the water. I almost said to her 'don't worry, you'll pass me back on the run', but I'm glad I didn't, because she never did!
I was amazed at how good I felt on the run. I hadn't seen many women on the bike, but I didn't know how close behind me any were. I just tried to hold on. One girl from my age group passed me at mile 2. Grrr, I had a 2.5 minute lead on her, and blew it in the run. But I was running as hard as I could - I'm not a runner - so I had to be content with that. I hadn't had a run in a triathlon this season faster than ~10 min/mi. Granted, I'd been doing longer races, but that was still slow, even for me. So that I finished Buzzard's Bay with an 8:25 pace was awesome!
I'd only done 2 sprint races before, last May and June, my 1st and 2nd races ever. So I was definitely hoping to have a PR, even though the bike and run were longer, and the swim was intermediate. I crossed the finish line with a 5+ minute PR!!! I felt so good. I had accomplished all my goals for that day: have a good attitude (I tend to get down on myself in the middle of races), pace myself to have enough left on the run, and feel strong throughout. The icing on the cake was a 3rd in AG finish.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Looking forward to the 'off' season
If you read my previous blog entry, you know that I was freaking out a little about not swim-bike-running, while everyone else was insisting I needed a rest. I ran a (comparatively) great half marathon at Pumpkinman (see race report at http://blog.bostontriathlonteam.com/2010/09/pumpkinman-2010.html), and was bummed that I wouldn't be running in the fall, which is my favorite season to run. Well, it took a little while, and one cold ocean, but I came around!
Last weekend I raced Lobsterman in Freeport, Maine. I don't love olympic races - the 10K is my least favorite road race distance, and putting a 1.5K swim and 40K hilly bike in front of it does not make it more appealing. But I wanted to do Lobsterman because I'd heard it's a great race, and it is very close to my parents, whom I rarely get to see, even though they only live 3 hours away, so my mother was going to come down adn watch me race for the first time. I have been wanting to get her to a race, so she could see how great of an atmosphere it is, and what I'm actually doing all the time, since she does not understand it at all. She tells me before each race to 'have a good marathon'. I love that she tries to be supportive though! [BTW, she had a blast, and said that all my friends/teammates were super nice, and that even the spectators were really friendly. So she understands a little better now why I love it.]
Since I don't have a car, and I wanted to get there for packet pick-up on Friday night, and in time to have dinner with my mom, I decided to take the bus from South Station to Portland, and take the bus back on Monday from Damariscotta. Since I work around the corner from South Station, I could go straight to work. I am writing this now from the bus on Monday, and my back no longer thinks this was a good idea :)
Since I needed tri gear, plus clothes through Monday, I ended up with 2 full bags. My transition bag full of gear, and my duffle full of clothes (lots of layers!). Plus my laptop and other electronics to occupy myself, snazzy new aerohelmet (an impulse cheer-me-up buy on Thursday) in its rather large case, and my bike pump, since I wasn't sure I'd run into anyone before the race on Saturday. After carting all of this on the Red Line to work, picking up my bike, which I had brought to work the day before, I trudged off to South Station. [After all this, THANK YOU Lauren for taking my bike back from the race - I never want to do this again if I don't have to!]
Race day comes, and I am shivering uncontrollably before it even starts. I am wearing a sweatshirt and thermal jacket, and just cannot warm up, even though it's probably in the high 50s, not exactly freezing. This does not bode well for a 61 degree swim though. When I stood up to get out of the water after a surprisingly decent swim, my body simply did not want to move. My legs felt like lead, and I actually had trouble moving myself forward. I don't know if I sweat the rest of the day, I just couldn't warm up, and my HR was super high. I made it through the race, but I think I only finished because I couldn't have my first DNF with my mother watching!!
I realized that not only was I cold, I was tired, and honestly, a little bored. The last week I've been looking at what other things I could do if I wasn't going to be 'allowed' to swim-bike-run, and I am starting to get excited about them. When I was first trying to lose my weight, one of the things I really loved was kickboxing (cardio kickboxing, not with a bag or people, although I'd love to try it). But I haven't done it in almost 2 years. Because of my shoulder problems, I had let that and yoga go.
I knew I had a lot of exercise videos that I used to enjoy as well (76!!! clearly I collected them when I was in Seattle) and there are classes that sound fun at the BSC. This Saturday I'm going to go to a cyclocross clinic at Belmont Wheelworks (anyone want to join me?). Hopefully I won't hurt myself, since I'm such a total klutz! Then Sunday I am going to race my final triathlon of the season - Buzzard's Bay sprint. I'm hoping to have a solid day to go out on a positive note and have something to build on for next year.
But I am really looking forward to the non-triathlon season. I wonder what else there is out there...
Last weekend I raced Lobsterman in Freeport, Maine. I don't love olympic races - the 10K is my least favorite road race distance, and putting a 1.5K swim and 40K hilly bike in front of it does not make it more appealing. But I wanted to do Lobsterman because I'd heard it's a great race, and it is very close to my parents, whom I rarely get to see, even though they only live 3 hours away, so my mother was going to come down adn watch me race for the first time. I have been wanting to get her to a race, so she could see how great of an atmosphere it is, and what I'm actually doing all the time, since she does not understand it at all. She tells me before each race to 'have a good marathon'. I love that she tries to be supportive though! [BTW, she had a blast, and said that all my friends/teammates were super nice, and that even the spectators were really friendly. So she understands a little better now why I love it.]
Since I don't have a car, and I wanted to get there for packet pick-up on Friday night, and in time to have dinner with my mom, I decided to take the bus from South Station to Portland, and take the bus back on Monday from Damariscotta. Since I work around the corner from South Station, I could go straight to work. I am writing this now from the bus on Monday, and my back no longer thinks this was a good idea :)
Since I needed tri gear, plus clothes through Monday, I ended up with 2 full bags. My transition bag full of gear, and my duffle full of clothes (lots of layers!). Plus my laptop and other electronics to occupy myself, snazzy new aerohelmet (an impulse cheer-me-up buy on Thursday) in its rather large case, and my bike pump, since I wasn't sure I'd run into anyone before the race on Saturday. After carting all of this on the Red Line to work, picking up my bike, which I had brought to work the day before, I trudged off to South Station. [After all this, THANK YOU Lauren for taking my bike back from the race - I never want to do this again if I don't have to!]
Race day comes, and I am shivering uncontrollably before it even starts. I am wearing a sweatshirt and thermal jacket, and just cannot warm up, even though it's probably in the high 50s, not exactly freezing. This does not bode well for a 61 degree swim though. When I stood up to get out of the water after a surprisingly decent swim, my body simply did not want to move. My legs felt like lead, and I actually had trouble moving myself forward. I don't know if I sweat the rest of the day, I just couldn't warm up, and my HR was super high. I made it through the race, but I think I only finished because I couldn't have my first DNF with my mother watching!!
I realized that not only was I cold, I was tired, and honestly, a little bored. The last week I've been looking at what other things I could do if I wasn't going to be 'allowed' to swim-bike-run, and I am starting to get excited about them. When I was first trying to lose my weight, one of the things I really loved was kickboxing (cardio kickboxing, not with a bag or people, although I'd love to try it). But I haven't done it in almost 2 years. Because of my shoulder problems, I had let that and yoga go.
I knew I had a lot of exercise videos that I used to enjoy as well (76!!! clearly I collected them when I was in Seattle) and there are classes that sound fun at the BSC. This Saturday I'm going to go to a cyclocross clinic at Belmont Wheelworks (anyone want to join me?). Hopefully I won't hurt myself, since I'm such a total klutz! Then Sunday I am going to race my final triathlon of the season - Buzzard's Bay sprint. I'm hoping to have a solid day to go out on a positive note and have something to build on for next year.
But I am really looking forward to the non-triathlon season. I wonder what else there is out there...
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Starting Over
For some reason, I've been thinking a lot lately about the beginning of 2010. It started off with a bang - surgery, car crash, credit card theft, computer virus. They are all still impacting me, but the one I've been thinking about lately is my shoulder.
I had horrible pain in my shoulder for 7 years, and it had gotten to the point where I could not function normally. People in Seattle had told me that it was probably a tear in the rotator cuff, and that there was no way to diagnose or treat it. I was convinced to have someone here look at it, and after seeing a shoulder specialist, he determined I had calcium in my rotator cuff, and it was arthroscopically removed.
I had horrible pain in my shoulder for 7 years, and it had gotten to the point where I could not function normally. People in Seattle had told me that it was probably a tear in the rotator cuff, and that there was no way to diagnose or treat it. I was convinced to have someone here look at it, and after seeing a shoulder specialist, he determined I had calcium in my rotator cuff, and it was arthroscopically removed.
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My (healthy) biceps tendon |
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My rotator cuff with calcium being released |
I probably pushed the recovery back from surgery. 4 weeks after, I went to Bermuda and did a half marathon, and then the Harpoon ITT 2 weeks later. In addition, I had a problem with my hamstring, and could barely bend (or fully straighten) my knee. But I was so terrified about getting behind, getting out of shape again, gaining weight, that I ignored everyone that told me to take time off. I was focused on getting to Timberman 70.3 2010 and getting under 6 hours. Proving that I belonged.
However, Timberman 70.3 2010 did not go as planned. Obviously, these things happen, and you learn from it, and move on. But I didn't realize just how much I had riding on that race in my own mind. It didn't really go that badly, but in my mind, there was very little progress over last year, and that was how I was judging myself, whether I had improved or not. The only improvement was on the bike, and considering that I switched from a road bike to a tri bike, in my mind, that means very little progress at all.
And that's the problem, my mind. I know that mental illness makes people uncomfortable, but it shouldn't. It's as much a disease as cancer. Although, I guess cancer makes some people uncomfortable too. Several (too many!) of my teammates are injured right now. And I've seen the team rally around them. But depression does not create an atmosphere for rallying - instead, it's very isolating.
There are good days, where I plan a party for a friend, followed by bad days, where I decide I can't go to that party because I can't handle being around that many people at once.
There are highs, where I can rejoice that the person that means the most to me in Boston achieved his dream, followed by lows, where I cut that person out of my life because I'm convinced he never cared about me at all.
Lately there have been too few good days, and too few highs.
Which brought me to a crossroads. Do I stick with triathlon, where I feel slow and a bit like a joke? Or do I quit and effectively isolate myself from everyone that I know here? Either way it felt that I was going to be starting over again.
I wrestled with this decision for several weeks, and by Timberman had decided that quitting was the best solution for everyone. After Timberman, I was even more convinced that I had made the right choice.
I wrestled with this decision for several weeks, and by Timberman had decided that quitting was the best solution for everyone. After Timberman, I was even more convinced that I had made the right choice.
That's the thing about depression, it's a vicious cycle of isolating yourself and spiraling downward - until it all gets to be too much. Then you hit bottom and either end the misery or crawl your way back out. I don't know where I am in that spiral right now, but I know I've been pretty close to the bottom. I have fought against depression my entire adult life. But the triple whammy of losing my car, needing to move in with a roommate, and not being able to find a job, leave me feeling like I've lost my independence and my identity, and have made it the worst it's ever been.
After talking to several teammates at Cranberry last weekend, I've slightly revised my stance. I have been pushing really hard since January. I'm very tired. I'm not quitting the sport, but for now I'm going to avoid social situations that are not team function related. It's just too overwhelming for me, and I feel out of place. I love everyone on the team, and I like to go to races and cheer and support them, but a lot of times I don't feel like I belong. I don't know if it's only in my head, but I can't make the feeling go away.
So, let's see if I can finish this season, take a much-needed rest from training (to heal my legs, and to build my strength and flexibility before starting up again), and make it to Germany. Hopefully healthy, and (dare I say it?) happy.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Let me tell you why this is so crazy
I have never been an athlete. In high school, I was the girl who failed the physical fitness test, because I got beat in the mile by the smokers. I dreaded gym class, and avoided anything that would make me sweat. Which is why, by the age of 26, I found myself at ~210 pounds. On a girl barely 5'4", that is not a good look.
Shortly after this picture, I moved to Seattle. One day, I was walking up a moderate hill with a classmate to go to lunch. By the time we got to the top, I was profusely sweating, had shin splints, and was gasping for breath. That was my 'aha' moment, where I knew things had to change.
I lost some weight by eating less, and then I gingerly started biking. I'd carted my old mountain bike between 3 states, even though I hadn't ridden it since 1997, and it was deflated and rusting on my balcony. Not as auspicious start, but Seattle is so bike-friendly, that I started regularly biking to work, even though the 4 miles uphill to home sometimes I thought would kill me, my heart rate was so high!
As I rode on the bike path, I would pass all the runners and wonder how they could ever do that. I have never had any desire to run; I couldn't understand why anyone would want to, or how they physically could do it. I pitied them, how slow they were in comparison to my bike.
But then, after losing about 20 pounds, I plateaued. I have a condition that makes it hard to lose weight, and what I was doing was no longer enough. I decided to do the impossible, and try to run a little. It was awful! I thought I was going to pass out, or my lungs would explode.
Eventually though, I got the hang of it, and a few months later in 2007, I decided to enter my first 5K race. I was barely up to running a 5K, so I just wanted to finish it (and not puke at the finish line). I did finish, in a little over 30 minutes, and I thought I was hooked. But finishing up my thesis and moving cross country had me putting running on the back burner, and I stopped for almost a year.
Fast forward to my living in Boston in 2009. I work basically alone, and I knew pretty much no one in the city. In an attempt to meet people, I joined a few running clubs, and a triathlon team. I still don't know what possessed me to do that, as I hadn't swum in over 10 years, I only owned my old mountain bike, and I could barely run that 5K still.
But I bought a road bike and a wetsuit, got my butt in the pool, and figured out how to shift the bike. In May 2009 I completed my first triathlon, a sprint. Somehow by the end of the season, I ended up completing a half Ironman, Timberman. It wasn't fast (6:22), but considering where I came from, I was proud of it. And I got to cross the finish line with my friend and training partner, who had caught up to me with 2 miles left.
I went a little off the deep end after the season ended. I switched teams, to one that is filled with really talented athletes. I also had shoulder surgery. I was so freaked out that I would gain all my weight back and would never live up to the bar set by my teammates, that I signed up for 2 half ironman races as motivation. The first, in early June, did not go so well, and I finished in 6:30. The second is in a couple of weeks, and it will take a perfect day for me to get under 6 hours, which I set as my goal as soon as I finished the race last year.
But somehow, when a group of my friends/teammates decided to sign up for Ironman Germany, I jumped on the bandwagon. I am petrified. And after watching my teammates rock IMLP last weekend, am really worried about my ability to complete this race.
So, I started this blog to carry me through the trip from Boston to Germany. Maybe get some feedback, advice, and/or heckling from others. I still have a little ways to go with my weight loss, and I'm hoping to focus on that this winter.
But for now, gotta head out for a run!
Shortly after this picture, I moved to Seattle. One day, I was walking up a moderate hill with a classmate to go to lunch. By the time we got to the top, I was profusely sweating, had shin splints, and was gasping for breath. That was my 'aha' moment, where I knew things had to change.
I lost some weight by eating less, and then I gingerly started biking. I'd carted my old mountain bike between 3 states, even though I hadn't ridden it since 1997, and it was deflated and rusting on my balcony. Not as auspicious start, but Seattle is so bike-friendly, that I started regularly biking to work, even though the 4 miles uphill to home sometimes I thought would kill me, my heart rate was so high!
As I rode on the bike path, I would pass all the runners and wonder how they could ever do that. I have never had any desire to run; I couldn't understand why anyone would want to, or how they physically could do it. I pitied them, how slow they were in comparison to my bike.
But then, after losing about 20 pounds, I plateaued. I have a condition that makes it hard to lose weight, and what I was doing was no longer enough. I decided to do the impossible, and try to run a little. It was awful! I thought I was going to pass out, or my lungs would explode.
Eventually though, I got the hang of it, and a few months later in 2007, I decided to enter my first 5K race. I was barely up to running a 5K, so I just wanted to finish it (and not puke at the finish line). I did finish, in a little over 30 minutes, and I thought I was hooked. But finishing up my thesis and moving cross country had me putting running on the back burner, and I stopped for almost a year.
Fast forward to my living in Boston in 2009. I work basically alone, and I knew pretty much no one in the city. In an attempt to meet people, I joined a few running clubs, and a triathlon team. I still don't know what possessed me to do that, as I hadn't swum in over 10 years, I only owned my old mountain bike, and I could barely run that 5K still.
But I bought a road bike and a wetsuit, got my butt in the pool, and figured out how to shift the bike. In May 2009 I completed my first triathlon, a sprint. Somehow by the end of the season, I ended up completing a half Ironman, Timberman. It wasn't fast (6:22), but considering where I came from, I was proud of it. And I got to cross the finish line with my friend and training partner, who had caught up to me with 2 miles left.
I went a little off the deep end after the season ended. I switched teams, to one that is filled with really talented athletes. I also had shoulder surgery. I was so freaked out that I would gain all my weight back and would never live up to the bar set by my teammates, that I signed up for 2 half ironman races as motivation. The first, in early June, did not go so well, and I finished in 6:30. The second is in a couple of weeks, and it will take a perfect day for me to get under 6 hours, which I set as my goal as soon as I finished the race last year.
But somehow, when a group of my friends/teammates decided to sign up for Ironman Germany, I jumped on the bandwagon. I am petrified. And after watching my teammates rock IMLP last weekend, am really worried about my ability to complete this race.
So, I started this blog to carry me through the trip from Boston to Germany. Maybe get some feedback, advice, and/or heckling from others. I still have a little ways to go with my weight loss, and I'm hoping to focus on that this winter.
But for now, gotta head out for a run!
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